What I Want Most

I’ve been praying and asking God why it’s so hard for me to stick with a healthy eating plan. I’ve realized that when my food choices are limited in anyway I feel deprived and rebel. I rebel because the thing I want most is freedom. He revealed to me that freedom isn’t being able to eat everything at anytime. True freedom is being able to move my body in any activity I choose, to walk into a store and buy any outfit I see, and to not be hindered by my weight in any area of my life.

Well, hello!

Being “free” to eat a brownie everyday isn’t true freedom at all! My rebellion against meal planning and healthy food choices is leading me more into bondage everyday. I get it! (It’s amazing how we can be blinded to such simple truths.)

As I promised in my last post, I’ve stopped researching all eating plans and the psychology behind weight loss. I just kept repeating “I’m giving it to Jesus” every single time my mind tried to think about it. Now my mind is clearer and my nerves are calm. Thank you, Lord! I was seriously about to lose it.

For some reason, I just have a sense of peace about the principles of the South Beach Diet. For me, personally, I know it’s my answer. Once I get the sugar out of my system, it really works with my mind and body. I’m not a calorie or points counter or a shake drinker. Different things work for different people and this is the eating style I feel most comfortable with. So here we go again, back to Phase 1! This time with Jesus' help. I feel better knowing I have the King of Kings in my corner. :)

Time for a Rest

People who know me, know that I’m somewhat of a Bible thumper. I love going to church and on a Friday night I’d much rather be immersed in the music of a praise and worship service than a night club. But I was doing my best to keep my weight loss blog separate from my religious life. I wanted it to appeal to anyone that may visit it and not be turned off because of my personal beliefs. But I’m over it.

Today I faced the fact that I cannot do this without the help of my Lord, Jesus Christ. I just don’t have the strength to fight anymore. It’s been a year since starting this blog, and I’m only down 10 pounds from where I was last year. That’s not a lot considering I obsess about food constantly. I spend probably 85% of my day, every single day, thinking about food and weight loss strategies.

I’m at the point I want to completely give up. My nightstand is covered with healthy cook books, I research articles online about diets, and it’s all just swirling around inside my head. I don’t know which way to turn or what approach to take. The one thing I do know is that this is NOT normal and it is NOT God's plan for my life!

So for today and probably for a while I’m resting in my Lord and giving all these worries over to Him. My focus is going to be trying my best NOT to be on a diet. (But not going all out on an All You Can Eat binge either.) I just need to rest from the insanity. I love that my God promises rest when we can’t handle anymore.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Today I’m ready to shamelessly ask Him to join me on my weight loss journey and to lead me in the direction He’d have me to go. To slowly show me the steps to take for our family to eat healthy so we can use our bodies to glorify Him.      

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

You know, one day I’ll learn to seek him FIRST. Not when I’m at my breaking point. I’m thankful beyond words for his mercy and patience with me. I feel so much better already. Gosh, I love my Jesus.

100 Lunches

Earlier this week, TT7 came home from school with crafts to celebrate her 100th day of school. The next morning it hit me that I have sent a lunch box to school with her every day for 100 days. That's a lot of lunches! For someone who struggles with meal planning this is a huge accomplishment!

I must admit around Day 97 or so I gave in because I had nothing in the fridge or pantry to send to school with her. When I told her she would have to buy lunch that day she burst into tears. I was shocked. She said she doesn't like the taste of school food anymore. Holy cow! I thought she had been missing all the carbs they serve (especially ice cream and cupcake days). All this time I've been feeling like I was forcing her to eat "good" food that I packed. I'm so excited that her tastes have changed and she actually prefers a healthy, packed lunch. 

Who'd have thought?

Full disclosure: There have been days when I have had lunch with her and brought fast food chicken nuggets and fruit. So it hasn't been as perfect as it sounds, but it's working for us and I'm so excited!